Letter From Nathaniel (Part II)

Back on June 9, 2017 I posted a short blog about a letter I received from my brother.  I always11204897_10153994316669683_374908684653694229_n.jpg become a mess emotionally, as I read any type of communication I get from Nathaniel, yet the communication is encouraging.  He has NO idea on how much his letters always reenergize my desire to continue “speaking out.”  I have a lot of work to do, as I set out to restructure the foundation and basically start all over.  Where is all the help I had when “Hollywood” was in the picture?  Ah, nowhere!  The truth is, plenty of mistakes were made and believe me when I tell you, I truly have learned from them.  If it were not for Tony, my brother-in-law, who is amazing and hung in there when there were NO FUNDS and the same for Carol H.!  I named those two because they were on the front line doing whatever they could, to keep things flowing.  Initially, we were dealing with people who expected WAY too much and everything seemed to have a price, a high price.  I invested a lot of time and money and trusted that things would flow smoothly.  Isn’t that what you are supposed to do?

At the beginning, I did not have time to be in the mix because I was traveling a lot sharing the story of my brother and family.   When I finally had the opportunity to sit down, I was able to see “The GOOD, The Bad and The Ugly.”  And you know what, I am NOT upset.  It is going to be better and one thing for certain, is that there will only be people working with me who believe in my mother’s and my dream.  Currently I am extremely excited that my path has crossed with The Cook family, a husband and wife team of an Attorney and Psychotherapist who has an interest in working with me.  I still have the support of Tony and I hope Carol will still be there.  Also, I have to say thank you to my new agent, Cassandra P.!  Looking forward to working with you.

What does this have to do with a letter?  A LOT!  You see, when I feel like giving up and fall into thinking how hard it can be, I am reminded by my dear sweet brother how important it is to keep going.  I know God uses him to bring me back to reality.

In his letter he wrote:

“Dearest Sister Jenny, If I try to write more than just a few words it will never come untangled.  Can you tell me a bit about living in Georgia.  California has some fine points to it – like hip-hop music, interesting others and Jazz 88.1FM on my radio CD player that you got for me.  I want to thank you much for that and all the many other things you have done for me.  When you came here to Hollywood to see that film on me and to Santa Monica to the Pacific Ocean.  The nations West Coast, an excellent time.  I have not forgotten Mr. Obama.  He is always in my heart when I sing and pray prayers, I include Mr. Obama, who is in the Whitehouse in Washington D.C. forever.  Stay SAFE, STAY COOL, CALM, and COLLECTED Always.  Your Pal, your friend, your brother Nathaniel Ayers”

I confess that it was even harder to type his letter to share, the very first line overwhelmed me as he shared such a deep thought on his state of mind.  He is a wonderful man, who still has hopes and dreams and it hurts me how people with mental illnesses are treated so unfair.  I feel so blessed to have a brother like Nathaniel and I am blessed that he has a support system in place and that his friend Steve Lopez, is still right there.  Therefore I have NO choice but to continue trying.  The nerve of me to even for a second entertain giving up.  Shame on me!  God bless America, God bless the mentally ill and I pray that “things” will get better and that America does not revert back to “days of ole.”

I love you, Big Brother, thanks for the letter…






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