A Letter to Nathaniel

I wrote this letter in 2015 and though many things have changed he is still a fine gentleman and the most courageous man I know…

Dear Big Brother:

Its been several months since I have seen you last. What a wonderful moment in time that was, it is such a blessing to spend time with you. I have to be honest and say that it took many years for me to understand what to say and when to say it. I was always trying to make everything so perfect for you. But that’s not what you wanted. Perfection is over rated to a guy like you, because all you want is to be R E S P E C T E D. Yes, you are so tough on yourself when it comes to music, a simple mistake can shatter you and it will take time for you to regain that solid stand once again and put the pieces back together. For the longest, I wanted the brother back that I knew before you went away to Juilliard. That super fly man who was every single day dressed so meticulously, nothing out of place! There are so many things I think back on that make me laugh and cry. I thank God that He guides me through this journey and allows me to be there for you, even if it is just to hear you rant. I understand now that I had to get out of my own way, try my best to stay healthy to be there when you called. I see where, in your own artistic way you have a greater value than you would ever own up too. You have helped so many people just by being YOU! Everything you do has a deeper meaning than the first glance can catch. Because of you many more people opened up to talk about mental health and you helped to make it easier for many to face the facts or at least look at the facts in a different way. I went through many stages to get it. I was being selfish, you see – it wasn’t about me, but I made it out to be, with every time I wanted you to do things my way. You never judged me nor did you ever stop being you. And you know what, Big Brother? You make the world a better place by not wavering. I am so thankful that I have learned how to accept who you are. You are the BEST Big Brother in the world and a very fine gentleman…

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